The Blog I Never Use

I am so happy to be here, uninjured and relatively safe after Valentine's Day. You see, the 13th, 14th, and 15th of Feb have often been very bad days for me. For instance, I decided to jump into bed on Valentines Day when I was 6 (I think). I had jumped into bed before but, this time, I made the nearly fatal, obviously dangerous error of turning the lights out first. Out with the lights, two quick steps, a dive and . . . the metal support that belonged under my matress, under my eye. That was my first set of stitches. Yeah, good times, good times.

And falling off a cliff . . . the 15th. Yeah, Gina actually listed a lot more a few years ago when she advised me to: "Hide in a safe place, with good ventalation, wearing a helmet, with a lot of pillows taped to you with duct tape, and avoid sharp objects until the 16th."

. . . and I don't think that she was joking.