Tuesday, May 09, 2006

I binged tonight

First, I'm going to leave the html code that you can use to insert a sarcasm mark, with a link to the sarcasm mark article in Wikipedia (<B><A HREF="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarcasm_mark">¡</A></B>) at the top of my blog so that those of you who have my blogg linked will always know where to find the sarcasm mark and so that those unsuspecting people, on the blogss of whom you post in sarcastic tones, will be able to find out what a sarcasm mark is and begin to use it themselves.

Second, I binged tonight. I made oatmeal cookies this afternoon. I had an extra batch of cookie dough, and I binged.

HA! I caught you! You thought that I binged on cookies huh? Nope, I didn't binge on cookies or cake or alcohol or coffee or Dr. Pepper, though any of those would be a sensible choice for a binge, being unhealthy and all. No, I couldn't be that normal. I'd like to say that I'm this way because I'm too punk rock for something so normal. In a way that's true, I mean, punk is all about non-conformity, or it is supposed to be, but all the punks I've met are just like all the other punks in their club, so I think it's all a line, but really, I try to be just who I am and nothing more or less.

I rebelled more against the rebellion that I saw in the people who made my life miserable in Junior High than I ever did against my parents. I never got a tattoo or a piercing or dyed my hair blue . . . if I ever did dye my hair, I'd probably choose blue . . .But most of my reason for not doing those things is that I think 99% of the people out there who do all that . . . most people who never claimed to be punk and/like Arwen and Tabitha are excluded from this criticism-- I'm not saying that they have done those things -- I just think that they seem like people who are genuinly themselves . . . any way, 99% of the people I see with major tatoos and piercings and Mohawks and brands and those big, ugly canisters people are sticking in their earlobes that arn't earrings, most of those people are . . . how do I put this kindly?¡ P-O-S-E-R-S! Yeah, most of them are so into impressing other people with how different they are that they're really just proving to the rest of the world that they're just peer-pressure junkies like all the other clones.

Alright, so I'd like to say that that is why I didn't binge on normal binge-fodder, but I'd be lying. No, I binged on the least bingable item from the post-taco dinner table . . . and I can't say for certain why I chose it, but if I had to venture a guess, I'd say it was because it was in a bag, and a bag, as everyone knows, is easier to carry than a bowl or a plate . . . that's right, people, I binged on lettuice. I ate three quarters of a bag of shredded lettuice, when I could have eaten cookie dough. <SHAME>

Comments:
You binged on lettuce when you could have binged on cookie dough?

You're dead to me. I have no brother.
 
"I binged on lettuce" Ty... your such a nerd :)
Thank you for acknowledging my sincere punkness. I also did all of those things that you mentioned to my hair- even dying it blue (that was the best one) In fact... I may have the opportunity to track down pictures now (my parents refused to take pictures of me during this time). Soon I will have my sincerely punk plugs in and you will all bow to my supreme dominance over poseur punks every where.
binge on lettuce... you crack me up.
 
Lettuce? I could probably eat a bag of shredded luttuce too, but then I would feel like I was being to kind to my body and eat the cookie dough immediatly after, just so my body doesn't get any crazy ideas about liking healthy foods. Then I would feel guilty immediatly after the cookie dough and I would double my workout for the day to make up for it.
Its a daily cycle.
 
A short story. I use to work at a pizza restaurant. They had bags of lettuce. When ever I walked past them I would grab out a handful of lettuce. I would eat lettuce all night sometimes. Then the managers would yell at me. The End
I cannot have sweets in my house. last week I ate a huge bag of peanut m&m's and huge bag of mini reeses...I disgust myself.
 
jess, you should have finished your story:
"and then, one time, I chewed up a big leaf of lettuce and spit it at Arwen. It landed on her neck and stayed there. She cried cause it was so sick."
I love that story.
 
Dr. Pepper is NOT unhealthy!! It is my major source of hydration!!!
 
I dunno about that sarcasm mark. It seems to be the written equivalent of saying "just kidding!" after every sarcastic verbalization. If the sarcasm inherent in your remark is not readily apparent to your target audience, you might want to re-evaluate your delivery.

Having said that, though, I remember experimenting with a similar symbol in the early '90s. At that time, a couple of mutual friends and I used (gf) as our indicator of irony. Bet you can't guess what -- or rather, who -- that stood for....
 
Correction: that should say late 90s.
 
Let me just say that it would currently be (gk), and that the sarcasm mark may just feel so good because of the novelty. I do find, though, that when strangers read what I have written, they often misunderstand my sarcasm, and thus, the sarcasm mark is useful when I write in a public forum.
 
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