Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Two Dedications to Teachers
I'm going to do something odd today. When I was a kid one of my teachers was great, he was always encouraging, I often told him how much I appreciated it but I didn't get to go to his funeral and another one was awful to me and I never got to call her on it as an adult, which I regret only if it would have protected other children. I think I'll write them letters to remind myself, and maybe someone reading this, of a few important things.
Dear Mr. Drappella . . . Leon . . . Mr. D.,
Thank you for caring. Your stories helped me to find out that learning happens in the stories that surround the facts, not just by memorizing them. You let us own a piece of your life by letting us share in your adventures. I've had many wonderful teachers, but without you, I would have given up before I ever met the others.
Your friendship, which lasted long after I was in your fifth grade class, has helped me build the confidence I've needed to build many friendships with important people by whom I might otherwise be intimidated. I'll always remember sharing a can of raspberry gingerale while we talked and worked together when I was your teacher's aid.
Because you shared the story of your brother's developmental impairment, I will always try to be careful with my words and actions. Because you believed in me, when I was unable to do the work you assigned, I have been able to believe in myself, even at the point of failure. Because you were a man of faith I will see you again.
Love, Ty
Dear Mrs. Douglas,
Years ago, I wanted to tell you this because I wanted to hurt you in return for hurting me. Now I am writing, after I believe you to have passed from this world long ago, in the hope that someone else may avoid some of the mistakes you made and so that I will never forget to treat others with respect.
I know I was only a fourth grader but I haven't forgotten the pain I suffered in your classroom. I can remember crying because you took away my recess because my writing wasn't clear enough. I copied that assignment about ocean life more than twenty times; my hand was swolen and I was in tears. Each time you were the cause of my misery, I gave up just a little bit more, that's what happens when one's best effort is treated as garbage. If the school had not decided to put me in another class, I doubt that I would have learned to love learning, you made it a burden.
By the way, I had a major learning disability, but you never even considered the posability. I was helping other people learn how to do the math assignments you gave, but you put me in the remedial group. You had convicted me of being incompetent before you ever met me because you distained the nature of my prior education. You made fun of me in front of the class, and laughed at me. You saw me as less than a person, and then treated me accordingly. You never tried to challenge your assumptions about me and never paid enough attention to allow me to challenge them.
From you I learned to hate school. I learned to be frozen with shame whenever I try and fail. From you I learned that sometimes people do mean and even evil things, probably without ever knowing it. From you I also learned, by contrast, to HATE abuse and to be very sensative to it. I learned to try to be accepting of everyone, no matter what I think I know about them. I learned to care about children as people rather than objects. I learned that love is as love does.
If I had come to you, I imagine that you would have apologised. And then I would have forgiven you. Consider this your apology and my forgiveness. I pray that I have not and will never do to anyone else as you did to me, but that if I have, or ever do, that they will forgive me too.
I don't know anything about your life outside of school, but I hope you made it to heaven too.
Ty
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Ry is right. This is a very good post. I don't know how many times I have wanted to write these kinds of letters but just didn't have the guts. I've even looked up the address for one of my good teachers and just lost the nerve to write and send.
If you don't mind me asking, what was the major learning disability you referenced? I'm writing an essay in my english class about dyslexia and if that is it, I'd love to "interview" you about some things... if not... that's cool too. It doesn't change the fact that this is a good post.
If you don't mind me asking, what was the major learning disability you referenced? I'm writing an essay in my english class about dyslexia and if that is it, I'd love to "interview" you about some things... if not... that's cool too. It doesn't change the fact that this is a good post.
Thanks, I was afraid I come off a bit whiny.
My learning disability is a writing disability coloquially called disgraphia, though, as I found out when I went in to be tested, that is not an official designation.
That is part of my reason for blogging. The more I write, the less I dread it. The dread and physical pain involved in writing actually cause as many difficulties as the disability itself. Yeah, I function fully three standard deviations below my intelligence level when it comes to writing. They also found that I have a measurable problem with phonetic reading as well and, according to their measurements, a math disability (though I think that that is probably because I was fed up with testing by the time we got to the math section, so I answered most problems by instinct . . . afterward, I realized that I'd missed some of them by one because of a mental glitch).
And I discovered, in the process, that either the second battery of IQ tests is invalid despite the attempt to vary the material or my IQ is close to 20 points higher on a good day than on a bad day. That could be true, considering the level of exhaustion and pain I was in during the first as compared with the second. I guess we'll find out if Trey is reading this.
My learning disability is a writing disability coloquially called disgraphia, though, as I found out when I went in to be tested, that is not an official designation.
That is part of my reason for blogging. The more I write, the less I dread it. The dread and physical pain involved in writing actually cause as many difficulties as the disability itself. Yeah, I function fully three standard deviations below my intelligence level when it comes to writing. They also found that I have a measurable problem with phonetic reading as well and, according to their measurements, a math disability (though I think that that is probably because I was fed up with testing by the time we got to the math section, so I answered most problems by instinct . . . afterward, I realized that I'd missed some of them by one because of a mental glitch).
And I discovered, in the process, that either the second battery of IQ tests is invalid despite the attempt to vary the material or my IQ is close to 20 points higher on a good day than on a bad day. That could be true, considering the level of exhaustion and pain I was in during the first as compared with the second. I guess we'll find out if Trey is reading this.
Ty, I'm mad at you.
Because I hate crying at work.
You could warn a babe when you're going to eulogize one of her favorite teachers.
Here's one more reason that you have to be around when we're raising our (as yet theoretical) kids: No one could hear that story and turn out to be a bully. If any kid of mine turns out to be a bully, I'd have to seriously consider an honor killing. I'd really like to avoid that option, so you're going to have to be around to make sure your neice/nephew grows up sweet like you instead of cranky and selfish like me.
Because I hate crying at work.
You could warn a babe when you're going to eulogize one of her favorite teachers.
Here's one more reason that you have to be around when we're raising our (as yet theoretical) kids: No one could hear that story and turn out to be a bully. If any kid of mine turns out to be a bully, I'd have to seriously consider an honor killing. I'd really like to avoid that option, so you're going to have to be around to make sure your neice/nephew grows up sweet like you instead of cranky and selfish like me.
two things.
i had pick n' flick werner (who as it turns out, did NOT pick his nose with his eraser mate pen and flick the boogers, even though exiting fourth graders who had been assigned to mr. werner were told that as a fact). i was positively green with envy over the kids who had mr. d. i didn't even get him for math group. you are indeed lucky. the loss was mostly made up for by the fact that i had mr. mulligan for grade six and that was basically awesome.
second, i'm encouraged by hearing about your learning disability, and i'm off to read about it as my son (brilliant science/math kid) has major handwriting struggles. it taints the teachers entire view of him, which is such a tragedy, as you well know.
i had pick n' flick werner (who as it turns out, did NOT pick his nose with his eraser mate pen and flick the boogers, even though exiting fourth graders who had been assigned to mr. werner were told that as a fact). i was positively green with envy over the kids who had mr. d. i didn't even get him for math group. you are indeed lucky. the loss was mostly made up for by the fact that i had mr. mulligan for grade six and that was basically awesome.
second, i'm encouraged by hearing about your learning disability, and i'm off to read about it as my son (brilliant science/math kid) has major handwriting struggles. it taints the teachers entire view of him, which is such a tragedy, as you well know.
p.s. did you hear that kraxberger recently had two bomb threats? what is happening to my beloved gladstone?
I had Werner for math. He was rather kind to me, but he was consistently the most monotone and awkward teacher I had before high school.
You should probably have your son tested for a writing disability, then, if he has one, though he migh not get treated with much more respect, at least they'll be forced to write an IEP and give him some concessions.
Oh, we had a bomb threat when I was there, but back then you never expected there to be an actual bomb.
You should probably have your son tested for a writing disability, then, if he has one, though he migh not get treated with much more respect, at least they'll be forced to write an IEP and give him some concessions.
Oh, we had a bomb threat when I was there, but back then you never expected there to be an actual bomb.
i ended up liking werner, a real whole lot. he was just a nice and, like you said, awkward man.
fun to have had the same teachers.
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fun to have had the same teachers.
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